Respect

 

As parents, if we want respect from our teens, we must go first. We are the role models. 

 

 

How can you show respect to your teens?

 

 

Make it clear that their opinions, feelings and beliefs matter to you and you will do your best to understand why they think or feel the way they do.

 

 

In this context, make sure that your teens understand that your interpretation of what they are saying is not necessarily accurate and that they have the right to respectfully correct you if they think you are misunderstanding. 

 

 

Using expressions like "correct me if I don't have this right" will help your kids know that they are being heard. It is sometmes tempting to say this with a sarcastic tone. Avoid it!!

 

 

Another way of showing respect to your teens is not to allow them to disrespect you.  Examples of disrespect are cursing, yelling, attitude, silence, eye rolling, and avoiding eye contact.

 

 

For example, if, during an argument, your teen's profanity and tone bother you, before going on you can do the following: Look them directly in the eyes, and seriously, quietly and calmly say, "I'll tell you what, I'll make a deal with you. I'll listen to you and promise not to curse and yell if you promise not to curse and yell."  

 

 

Chances are they will mumble “ok” or something like that.  And you have now increased the odds that you will resolve whatever the disagreement was about.

Mark Littman

Therapy and Counseling Center
 
for teens & adults in Newton, Sparta, Vernon 
and Sussex County New Jersey

 MA, LPC, NCC

973 . 300 . 5338

Text: 973-632-6617